As a Farm Woman Thinks

by Mrs. A.J. Wilder

At a gathering of women the other day, a subject came up for discussion on which I knew the opinions held by several present as they had expressed to me privately.

It happened that a woman who held the opposite opinion to theirs led off in the talk and a number followed her lead; then these women who differed, fell in with what they thought was the popular side and by a few words let it be understood that they were in concord with the opinion stated and so what might have been an interesting and profitable discussion became merely a tiresome reiteration of the same idea.

I knew those women had been false to themselves but was not surprised for I have been observing along that line recently and have seen so much of the same thing. As people are pretty much the same everywhere I do not think that this spirit is shown in one community alone.

For fear of giving offence many persons agree to anything that is proposed when they have no intention of doing it and will find an excuse later. They join in with what they think is a popular opinion until it is almost impossible to tell where anyone stands on any subject or to do anything, because one cannot tell upon whom to depend. This disposition is found everywhere from social affairs to the man who agrees to come and work.

Have you not found it so? Of course it is easier, for the time, to go with the current but how much more can be accomplished if we would all be honest in our talk. And how much wasted effort would be saved! We all despise a coward, but we sometimes forget that there is a moral as well as a physical cowardice and that it is just as contemptible.

I am sure that moral cowardice is responsible for a great deal of the trouble and confusion in the world. It gives unprincipled persons an opportunity to “put things over” that they would not have if others had the courage of their convictions. Besides it is weakening to one’s personality and moral fiber to deny one’s aspirations or falsify one’s self, while it throws broadcast into the world just that much more cowardice and untruth.

We all know who is the father of lies and a lie can be acted as well as spoken, while an untruth is often expressed by silence. It is not necessary to be unpleasant if we disagree, an opinion supported by a good reason kindly stated should not offend, neither should a pleasant refusal to join in anything proposed. We may be friendly and courteous and sill hold frankly to our honest convictions.

But,

“This above all to thine own self be true And it will follow as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

Mrs. A. J. Wilder. "As a Farm Woman Thinks." Missouri Ruralist (April 1, 1923): 30.  CLICK HERE to see this article as it originally appeared in the Missouri Ruralist.

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