oh talk about your....
I apologize in advance for the content of this blog, but I just had to. It's just to show that everything is because of Laura Ingalls Wilder. Or something like that.

Curses to the person (you know who you are) who introduced me to the Dairy Queen MooLatte while in South Dakota. We're talking six hundred calories of deliciousness. And even though I walked all the way to Dairy Queen to get one while in De Smet, I doubt that I walked off six hundred calories' worth.

So when I got back to this town I live in, of course I wanted a MooLatte. And I thought it was nuts to pay four dollars for one, so I googled to find the recipe online. Duh. It's ice, ice cream, and flavoring, topped with whipped cream. Not exactly rocket science. And yes, you can make them just as yummy and calorie-laden at home.

While googling, though, I found this from the August 14, 2004 Houston Times. I'm cutting and pasting the whole article, since I don't know how long it will be there, but here's the link -- http://houstonpress.com/issues/2004-08-12/hairballs.html

Moovin' On Up
Does DQ's new drink ring some racist bells?
As told to Richard Connelly

Dairy Queens are so ubiquitous in the Lone Star State that the familiar red logo is sometimes referred to as a Texas stop sign. So naturally we were interested when the company sent out a release saying customers would get a free sample of their new frozen drink if they brought an actual, live cow to a Dairy Queen on August 24.
Initially we had two thoughts: 1) Who brings a cow to a place that sells hamburgers? Is this some kind of "Scared Straight" program for bovine juvenile delinquents? And 2) Isn't it kind of unhealthy having an animal dropping cow patties all over a place that serves food?

The city's department of health confirmed that it would indeed probably violate a passel of laws; a DQ spokesman said farmers use the drive-thrus every day with livestock in trailers.

So instead we focused on the new drink -- the MooLatte. Which to our ears sounded a lot like "mulatto," which is a tired racial epithet we really hadn't heard since the last time we watched the movie Mandingo. Or, to be classy, Roots.

We're not the only ones. "Doesn't Dairy Queen have any black employees?" asked Timothy Noah of the online magazine Slate. "Or at least someone who's seen Show Boat?" (Show Boat was the Mandingo of its time.)

We figured there was a vast, untapped treasure chest of archaic racial names that DQ was missing out on, so we contacted the spokesman listed on the bring-a-cow press release. Chad Durasa was most helpful:

Q. This drink, it's not the "Mulatto"?
A. No. No. No. "Moo," meaning cow, and then "latte," meaning --

Q. OK. We were thinking of some other possible items, and I just wanted to run them by you. How about the High Yellow Butterscotch Sundae?
A. I'm not sure if I understand what that is.

Q. Just like a sundae with butterscotch topping, but this would be High Yellow butterscotch.
A. You mean like a higher quality?

Q. Yeah. That's just something to consider. We were also thinking -- the MooLatte has three separate flavors, but if you took eight flavors and combined them, you could call it the Octoroonie.
A. Octoroonie?

Q. Yeah.
A. Actually -- wow, that's actually a pretty good idea.

Q. And then one more here...Sambo's Extra Dark Triple Chocolate Shake. How's that grab you?
A. Actually, Dairy Queen doesn't make shakes. They make Blizzards.

Q. OK -- Sambo's Extra Dark Triple Chocolate Blizzard.
A. [Writing it down] What would that be?

Q. I would say you would find the blackest cone you could find and fill it with chocolate ice cream. And go from there.
A. All right. Interesting.

Q. Well, it's just something to think about.

We can't wait for DQ to introduce these. And hey -- everyone who drives up in blackface gets one free!!

And if you're singing "Mulligan Guards" at the time, I think you ought to get free sprinkles.
- posted by pioneergirl at 1:57 AM